Baruch HaTov VeHameitiv

A relatively short halachic observation this time, in my mind for personal reasons.

Introduction

Chazal instituted a variety of brachos to be made to thank Hashem for possessions, geographical features of the Universe, life events and more. Some of these brachos are made only in very specific and clearly defined circumstances, such as the bracha made upon sighting the New Moon each month (colloquially known as kidush levana). Others, such as the bracha of shehechiyanu, are made on many occasions, and some thought is required to identify the common denominator between these occasions.

A bracha that is similar to shehechiyanu, but made less frequently, is the bracha of hatov vehameitiv.[1] This bracha is made upon hearing good news or acquisition of new items, where the person hearing is not the sole beneficiary. Examples explicit in the Mishna and gemara are when rain falls and the person owns farmland in partnership with another, joint purchase of a new house or utensils, inheritance, and drinking a new type of wine together with others.[2]

The final explicit example is when a baby boy is born to a couple.[2] The clear implication is that no bracha should be made upon hearing of the birth of a girl. This halacha would have been easily understandable in the ancient world, as the birth of a girl was simply not considered good news.[3] Good news is defined subjectively rather than objectively,[4] such that this halacha is only an indicator of the then prevalent attitude to the birth of a girl, and not necessarily of an objectively 'correct' attitude.

Subjectivity and Modern Application

By the early 20^th century, perceptions appear to have changed significantly. The Mishna Berura writes that although the bracha of Hatov Vehameitiv is not said on the birth of a daughter, it is obvious that shehecheyanu should be said the first time one sees his daughter. He argues that this is no worse than seeing a friend for the first time in 30 days, where Chazal tell us that the bracha of shehecheyanu is said.[5]

Although this may have been obvious to the Mishna Berura, I find it extremely difficult to accept that recitation of Shehecheyanu after the birth of a daughter was so obvious to Chazal and poskim preceding the Mishna Berura to the extent that they did not even see the need to write it. Furthermore, the analogy to seeing a friend after 30 days is questionable – the experience of being reunited with an old friend is very different to that of the birth of a child, who the parents have never met before.

It is therefore clear to me that the Mishna Berura simply was not comfortable with the idea that the birth of a daughter could be passed off as a non-event (a similar feeling felt I am sure was felt by many of us the first time we encountered this halacha). By his time, the worth of women simply had to be celebrated, even if full equality was still a long way off.

This position has been accepted at least in part by almost the entire Jewish world. While some poskim disagree with the Mishna Berura and write that no bracha should be said on the birth of a daughter,[6] festive celebrations of the birth of a daughter are the norm in all sections of our society. There is no doubt in my mind that this represents a change from ancient times.[7]

It is also clear that this change has continued past the time of the Mishna Berura, and in today's society, many (if not all) Orthodox Jews experience equal degrees of joy from the birth of male and female children.[8] The logical conclusion is that the ruling of the Mishna Berura, perhaps radical in his time, is now anachronistic. The correct bracha to say after the birth of any child is Hatov Vehameitiv, as long as the parents consider this 'good news.'[9]

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[1] The full bracha is ברוך אתה ה' א-להנו מלך העולם הטוב והמטיב, not to be confused with the much longer version said as the fourth bracha after a meal (although clearly both brachos thank Hashem for the good He has given us).

[2] Brachos 59b. When the person hearing is the sole beneficiary, the bracha of shehechiyanu is made.

[3] See also Kiddushin 82b. While this was the prevalent view even then it was not unanimous – see Bava Basra 141a.

[4] Although the Rashba writes that the bracha is only made on tangible benefit and not on any good news. A son typically provided tangible benefits to his parents in their old age and by taking care of their burial (daughters were historically less able to do so), and 'every person desires to have an inheritor' (Responsa 4:77).

[5] Mishna Berura 223:2

[6] See for example Mishne Halachos 13:32

[7] In the above responsum, the Mishne Halachos points out that Ri ben Yakar felt it necessary to tell people not to make the bracha of Hadayan Haemes (said upon the receipt of bad news) on the birth of a daughter.

[8] In my view, this change is a positive one and an example of the progress made by humanity. However, the halachic ramifications would be true even were the change to be neutral or even negative.

[9] Even if the happiness experienced is not 100% equal after the birth of a boy and a girl.